You Know You're A Zookeeper When...

...after work, all you attract are flies
...your tan lines wash off
...your pets greet your shoes and not you.
…cable and internet at home are an expensive luxury not many can afford
...you walk with a limp because of all the tools on your belt
...your snot is black and not clear
....you get really excited about good solid poop
…you think nothing of pulling off ticks while in line at the local fast-food place.
...you wash your hands thoroughly BEFORE using the toilet.
...you politely decline to shake hands because you know WHERE your hands have been
…you eagerly shake hands because YOU KNOW where you hands have been.
...the word "shit" is not a bad word.
...new rakes and shovels are more exciting than diamonds.
…over lunch the discussion involves the consistency of feces.
…you lock any and every door behind you.
…you shop the toy section in Wal-Mart and you don't have kids, you have monkeys.
...a three day weekend means the ground in dirt on you hands is gone.
...you leave a trail of hay everywhere you go.
...you check to see which way the wind is blowing before dumping anything.
...you can make water run uphill, because architects believe all drains should be in the highest corner.
…taking off your boots at night is better than....well, just about anything.
...talk of animals’ feces does not gross you out while eating.
…you are not phased by a fecal sample in the fridge next to your lunch.
…there are no pictures of you without animals in them too.
…you can identify which species a fecal originated from by smell (often on your hands).
…you’re routinely tested for internal parasites.
…your favorite smells are bleach and disinfectant.
…your pets aren’t the only ones that receive a rabies shot.
…you look better when you wake up than when you get off of work.
…you have scars to prove it.
…you don't need to work out because your job is hard enough.
....you can carry a full 5 gallon bucket of water without spilling a drop.
....you have been electrocuted by the hotwire...that keeps the Giraffe in.